3 TERRIBLE Places to meet Women (that ALMOST got me)

(Before you read this… if you are easily offended or don’t have a sence of humor… don’t read this, then go kill yourself. I also dedicate this post to my love for cracked.com, That’s my disclaimer, you’re welcome)

There is a time and a place for everything… and someTIMES certain PLACES are just “bad news bears” when it comes down to meeting women… (whether or not you want to have something long-term or short-term.) That being said, the type/quality of woman who I would like to have on a long-term basis just CANNOT be met everywhere ESPECIALLY…

The Projects 

” Huh?!  What Do You Mean?!”

For those of you unfamiliar with the term “The Projects” allow me to elaborate. *Ahem*

“Projects: Public housing or project homes are forms of housing tenure in which the property is owned by a government authority, which may be central or local. Although the common goal is to maintain affordable housing, the details of the arrangements differ between countries, and so does the terminology.”

Projects (or the “PJ’s”) are typically portrayed as one level right above homeless, where in it is not uncommon for LOTS of “all bad” things to occur. All manner of Crime, Drug use, disease, teen pregnancy, Roach Infestation you name it. Basiclly “Projects” are viewed as your multi-cultural “Trailer Parks” without wheels (stereotypically speaking.)

(How Donald Trump views the projects)

” How’d They almost get you?! “

As a younger lad, my older brother (10+ years older) takes me with him and his friends around in his Escalade. I’m sorry… He would be RATHER upset if he read this and I didn’t mention that HIS particular Escalade had 26″ Chrome Rims and was fully loaded with black leather interior and 2 12″ Rockford Fosgate Subs (however I WOULD be upset if I didn’t mention that he’s been using MY 3000 watt amp that he “Borrowed” almost 10 years ago…)

Being an *ss-hole runs in the family i guess... (I want my amp back damn it)


As we drive around East Cleveland visiting people he knows, acting very coontastic*, getting food, picking up and dropping off various people (including unsavory young ladies and shady looking friends of his) we some how end up in the projects. Shortly after we’d arrived at the shoe-box of a home I was pretty uncomfortable as well as bored so I decided to stand outside. After around an hour of death-bordom I notice a scantily clad voluptuous young lady pass me by. (Now, for those that did not know me when I was younger, I was a sucker for anything that had large breasts and a smile.)

Had to be all the Anime I watched as a Kid

The young lady smiles at me, I nod to her and my brothers friend Steve talks me into going after her to “chop her down.*” (By “Talks me into” I mean forces me.)

Yeah, I took her number but after talking to her for 30 seconds I was even LESS interested and didn’t even ask her what her name was.

nope never called her.

I decided as dumb as she acted I would have probably shot myself and ended up in…….

The Emergency Room

” Huh?!  What Do You Mean?!”

You know, the E.R. the REAL EMERGENCY ROOM (and NO, I Don’t mean the place where the edge of your seat drama of TNT unfolds either!)

Sorry La Salle

*Ahem*  Wikipedia Defines an Emergency Room:  An Emergency Department (ED), also known as Accident & Emergency (A&E), Emergency Room (ER),Emergency Ward (EW), or Casualty Department is a medical treatment facility, specialising in acute care of patients who present without prior appointment, either by their own means or by ambulance. The emergency department is usually found in a hospital or other primary care center. Due to the unplanned nature of patient attendance, the department must provide initial treatment for a broad spectrum of illnesses and injuries, some of which may be life-theatening and require immediate attention. In some countries, emergency departments have become important entry points for those without other means of access to medical care.

Yeah… GREAT PLACE to meet women…

if you just so happen to be on you’re death-bed…

” How’d They almost get you?! “
Haha… well see…

Back in my younger days I was well-known for many many things…. One of those things was my capacity to MURDER automobiles! Yes, young Wordz (HyJynX was my nickname back then) went through more automobiles then Rowan Atkinson (google it) So much so that my brother to this day calls me a “car killer.” Not because I’ve gotten into numerous accidents,  but because “Things Happen” to cars I own (but that’s another story.)

So after one of my more recent car accidents I end up in the E.R. (where most of us intelligent people end up regardless of exactly how “injured” we are.) and in the waiting room are various either circumstancially misfortunate or Intelligently misfortunate people. Of course waiting for God only knows how long, for our names to be called.

No... not THAT long........ well maybe

A young lady sits in my general area and soon after she strikes up a conversation with me. Now I’m not stupid at first I think… “this is the E.R. No good can come of this… she HAS to have a screw loose or SOMETHING.” however other than her lack of articulation she seemed to be cool. She told me she was in because her “head hurt” and we continued to speak. However I just HAD to know WHY she was in the E.R.  After she gave me her phone number she went through a quite lengthy exposition that had something to do with domestic violence and her pushing some dude down the stairs and her hitting her head or SOME insane scenario eventually involving the authorities.

Never called her.

This young ladies parents undoubtably should have taken a nice visit to….

The Abortion Clinic

” Huh?!  What Do You Mean?!”

(Warning:  yyyyeahhh so uhm… this might be where I lose a lot of Friends AND followers/fans.)

but yeah… you know… the abortion clinic… that place where accidents un-happen… (okay okay that’s a bit insensitive, let me try that again.) The abortion clinic has been saving irresponsible people from child support and other commitments since the beggining of time. (better??)

(in Norway they have an alternative method)

Anyway the Abortion Clinic: you know what if you don’t know what the abortion clinic is you’re an idiot.

” How Did They almost get you?! “

well this story isn’t anywhere near as interesting but whatever… here it is.

Years ago there was a young lady I was quite fond of that we will call “Corrie” (oh yes… this means we will be hearing from her again.) Her and I became rather serious and in time we had an unexpected pregnancy. Truthfully I was pretty excited however she was apprehensive and when asked what to do I told her that I would stand behind whatever decision she made and I would be there no matter what (Yeah I’m not a TOTAL Ass-hole ALL the time.)

yet I AM aware that I am more often then not!

So after seeking the wise advise of her single male friends that I didn’t get along with, we end up at the abortion clinic.

Many of you may think that I tried to date one of the attractive unfortunate young ladies walking around in there but no… While soaking up the depression and Godlessness of that place I decided I needed to go outside and get some change from my car to get something to drink. On my way down stairs one of the nurses was headed up stairs and recognised me from High School. Surprised I guess that I was no longer a geeky kid with low confidence, she decides to strike up a flirtatious little conversation

on the stairway

in the abortion clinic

yeah… so as upset as I was already that flight never made it off of the ground… didn’t get her number didn’t even remember her name and I’m pretty positive I said something rude about her face on my way to my car but hey…