Dating Dont’s: Movie etiquette

Most all of us have been on a date that involved (you guessed it) going to the movies! You know, where you and whoever you’re with sit for around 90 or so minutes and watch a feature presentation eating over priced snacks.

The "Value Pack Combo" only costs 25 cents more (75.50!!)

yeah the movies!

I actually enjoy the overpriced wallet rape quite a bit, you get to suspend reality for a while as you watch whatever hollywood has decided to defile THIS time…

The Key word here… is WATCH… you know… like sit there… and Shut… the Hell… UP!


You can’t talk/get to know someone while you’re just sitting there and for that very reason, most of my first dates with women won’t ever be at a movie theater. Unless there’s a flick I really want to see / It’s last-minute / I’m not all that interested in the woman / I’m sure she won’t have anything interesting to say. (usually its a combination of  those.) Sometimes throughout the experience I end up feeling differently about the womans company… but there are many that don’t get past the silver screen… and here are a few in-theater reasons why…

No sence of Humor

it's okay, she's Just a robot sent to gather data on humans

Yes, in almost every dating scenario you can think of… someone with either an opposite sence of humor or NO sence of humor will must certainly dampen and drain the fun out of it for you… no matter how sexy the person is, no matter how bad you may have wanted to have this ONE date with the person… it just isn’t happening.

In all honesty it could be a lack of chemistry between the two of you… perhaps the person just DOESN’T want to be at the movie with you to begin with…. whatever the case someone who can’t or won’t lighten up… is an epic fail!

Talking… TOO MUCH

all I know is that Optimus Prime is kicking the SH*T out of the Deceptacons right now...

Now I never expect anyone to be completely silent in a movie… Hell i crack a joke or two… point out little things here and there myself… but… God… DAMN. I just spent around 60 dollars on this “Theatrical experience”….

and I’ll be damned if you’re going to ruin it with your entire life story… that’s what dinner is for… or a walk is for… or… ANY PLACE ELSE!! I have only had ONE date in my entire life that the woman was THAT interesting that her and I talked the entire time and I didn’t care (mainly because she was a Genius and the movie was a last-minute choice but whatever.) Other than that some minor banter here and there… small jokes… all fair game… but talking to much during a movie is a definate way to get your calls ignored.

Talking on the phone… 

People over seas have been stoned for far less... "Sharmoot"

Let’s get the excuses out-of-the-way shall we? If you have kids at home sick family, on cal ER doctor or what have you and you need to have the phone on and be able to check on it… no big deal, however you should in all cases NEED to walk OUT of the movies to handle your serious adult real life URGENT business!

THAT BEING SAID! This is bad for SO many reasons… first of all its rude as hell, so either you are INTENTIONALLY about to get left at the theater/clowned in front of strangers by me, or you truly don’t have enough common sence or upbringing to be out with me (or around civilized people) to begin with!

Second of all, you’re making us BOTH look bad… every single person in the theater can see your bright *ss Phone light up and now can hear your conversation about absolutely nothing!

Third of all (and I’ve said this before,) IF IT’S THAT DAMN IMPORTANT LEAVE THE THEATER!! Look, I’m a reasonable person and I as well have had some emergencies that required my immediate attention… and I’ve excused myself politely then handled it OUT SIDE OF THE ROOM!! Anything important enough to answer the phone and talk… is important enough to leave the damn theater for… and it’s the only way I’d consider NOT leaving you there.

This has never happened to me but It would be evident to me that the person wasn’t at all concerned with being out with me and I would leave immediately… inexcusable.

pshh... I got 99 prollems but......

(To a lesser extent txting or tweeting the whole movie is almost just as bad… but I won’t talk cause I do that when I’m bored with my date sooooooo.)

These things are issues on ANY type of date, However adding the movie theater as an environment makes them SO much worse. Till next time!