Confidence Building for the Lazy/Shy/Downtrodden
Almost any woman will agree one of the most attractive and sexy thing a man can have is confidence…
Having confidence (and Loving yourself) is SO important, “Confidence is better than competence” is one of my self-created personal mottos. How did the shy loser nerdy bully-magnet gamer develop the confidence portion? Here’s How. (We will start with the easy stuff.)
What/Why: no… seriously… SMILE MORE! When you Smile it is PROVEN that you feel better! You seem more confident, more friendly and more attractive to others and will get MUCH better reaction then someone stoic somber stern or with a scowl.
There are several proven advantages (and even HIDDEN advantages) to smiling. The British Medical Journal published an article about how smiling is contagious. Smiling triggers happiness inside of the person smiling… imagine invoking happiness in another person by simply triggering it in YOURSELF. There have been various studies showing that women find closed mouthed smirk/Mona Lisa smiles more sexually attractive then big cheesy ones (Everything in moderation my friends) but that’s another topic for another post. The thing about smiling that is proven, it makes YOU feel good and more confident.
What to do: Give someone, ANYONE genuine praise/compliments at least once a day EVERYDAY for two weeks. If you’re as shy as I was and mortified by talking to others, start with people you know. Then move to strangers, one compliment per day for two weeks then double up. two per day every day. It can be about something they have on their smile their hair… ANYTHING! I give out dozens of heartfelt honest compliments per day now.
There is an art to complimenting people successfully. So make sure that you are specific and genuine when doing so.
Why to do it: People by nature are VERY self-interested so compliments are GREAT and appreciated! Not only does it feel good to appreciate others but you will begin to ALSO get appreciated and complimented… which will make YOU feel more confident. ALSO We see and identify ourselves in others so the more positive things we begin to pinpoint and identify the more we reflect that. Lastly when I began to compliment others and got good with it I became an AMAZING flirt.
What to do: Similar to compliments, once per day say “hello” to an attractive stranger in passing. then in a week or two, double up. make sure to smile and be friendly.
Why to do it: Saying hello puts you out of your comfort zone, however it isn’t super “risky” think about it what the worst that can happen? either you get a “hello” in return or you get NOTHING. and if someone doesn’t say hello back… WHO CARES?? This is a great excercise to get you use to speaking to others AND people you find attractive that you would otherwise be afraid to talk to. This… helps your confidence.
Huh? What?!: ” What did you just tell me to do Wordz?” That’s right! Once a day seek rejection! To my surprise this is actually something called “Rejection Therapy.” Works so well it’s actually a Game! So, Once per DAY you MUST be rejected, that simple.
and NO, No one is saying to walk up and flash the first person you see…
try something more subtle, I started by asking for a discount before I purchased something, the INSANE thing is that is one of the “suggestions” in the “rejection therapy game.” (I should ask for royalties.)
Why?: Most people have a fear of rejection on some level or another and for most of us it is real and it is paralyzing. the goal of this is to eliminate the fear of it. When you realize that every “No” just brings you closer to a “yes” you will be more confident.
That’s it for now… I have more helpful tidbits but well I’ll save them for later!