Things Men Wished Women Knew (part 1)
Society and our upbringing make us (well USE to make us) want to be these, stone faced, testosterone filled, iron cut, emotionless, THINGS. We aren’t suppose to look good for you really, Hell we aren’t even suppose to have a desire to shower. We do however, and despite what anyone will admit to a LARGE portion (if not all of it) is for YOU. I think it was Chris Rock who said: “Men would live in a card board box if we could.”
That being said, the LEAST you could do is compliment us for Gods sake! A REAL compliment too… because I’ll tell you while you like hearing “That’s a cute outfit,” Cute is RARELY the adjective of choice for most men. If we work hard all day, If we are of the few who can color coordinate and accessories etc. TELL us how good we look in it, If your man has been working out and lost/gained in a nice way, don’t be afraid to give us the “good game” *ss slap or something and tell us how hot we look… its great motivation for us AND a confidence boost. The last time a female friend told me she noticed that I’d been working out I swear I woke up the next day and went EXTRA hard in the gym.
We DO care, we AREN’T Psychic, we just don’t “get” hints :
When it comes down to certain things discretion is ALWAYS the best thing, or taking your time to flirt or pursue us… appropriate and rather understandable HOWEVER, when it comes down to important things like “why you’re upset” just BE DIRECT! It isn’t that we are insensitive or that we don’t care about you it’s that we HATE HINTS and being held accountable to HINTS… oh, and that “we need to talk” sh*t needs to go also… we know that 99.9% of the time there is a “we need to talk” it’s a bad thing…. otherwise you would just talk.
We like PERSONAL gifts:
It’s simple, where gifts are concerned the more personal the better. Sure we appreciate random tokens of appreciation just as much as you ladies do, however when it comes time for REAL gifts… it’s best to give a gift that isn’t JUST from the heart, but from the mind. ie. one of the most manipulative selfish woman I’ve ever dated got me this
it was perfect, she knew that I wrote a lot, she knew that I LOVED pens, she’d seen me perform on stage and knew my Pen name “Wordz” and POW. also I was once given a shot glass with my name on it by “Sindy Sharmuta” (not a bad gift… mediocre at best but what worsened the situation is she got the same thing for 3 other people at the time….) one of the women I dated afterwards “accidentally” broke the glass and replaced it later as a joke with a sterling silver engraved one with my name on it… Double Points. So ladies, ask yourself how much you know your man… what does he like, what is he good at, where does he hang out etc.
We need our own time:
Listen we NEED time to ourselves AND time to hang out with “the fellas.” I know, I know… but you “Love your man” and you “Love spending time together.” Here is the thing ladies, no matter what you think, we NEED time to do that “pointless hobby” or hang with the fellas for that “silly tradition” and although you may get an occasional invite your man needs to have that “ME time.” bonding with our friends or pursuing our interests helps reduce stress unwind or increase self progression as well as other beneficial things and should not be criticized OR confused for anything else. Remember there exists “Too much of a good thing” PLUS the last thing you want is for us to feel smothered…
this goes along with the next point…
Everything in Moderation:
This ones quite simple, there is a difference between “Doin’ the most” and “Doing too much.” Even more basically… The fine art of subtilty or moderation, SADLY is lost on lots of women. For example most of you really do NOT need the amount of make-up or foundation etc that you THINK you do and even though it’s suppose to accentuate enhance conceal blah blah blah in the wrong hands make up makes you look like well dressed clowns (the more natural the beauty the better)… and I for one hate getting make up smudges on my clothing or furniture… plus you can’t possibly have it on 24/7… so be sparing with it… the same goes with everything… remember too much of ANYTHING is bad.
We Don’t like Negative Nancy:
While I’ve shared war stories and complaints with lots of women I’ve dated… hell most of the comedy in my blogs is related to complaints etc. NO MAN likes a woman who has nothing positive to say and or runs around complaining about everything. Or what’s worse a woman who just seems to ALWAYS be in a funk about one thing or another! GOD that’s DEPRESSING I broke things off with a woman years ago who was SO negative most of the time that she went on a furious rant once about her best friends step sisters boyfriends cousin (or something like that) who she didn’t even KNOW like they did something directly to her.
This isn’t just limited to being and speaking negatively all or most of the time, this can be you overlooking the greater good of the things we do over some minor oversight. or in other words lack of appreciation. This happens all of the time, Don’t get upset that the toilet seat was left up… overlooking the fact that we clean the house every week, don’t tear us down if we buy the groceries and forget the milk, let it go, be positive. Quick recap: Being angry and complaining all the time is whack, Being Upset and in a constant funk is Depressing! and learn to appreciate ish!! hand in hand with this is…
We HATE Nagging Nadine:
I can’t explain to you how few women do not realize they are Nagging Nadine. We are human and we realize that we make mistakes… and if you’ve been reading you know by now to just be direct and tell us. but be very VERY clear… tell us… ONE TIME
If we do something undesirable it’s okay to bring it to light and in most cases talk to us about it briefly. Once it’s been brought up understood and apologized for. Take that apology and shut. the. f*ck. up. Any real man is hard enough on himself without you bringing it up over and over or beating the SH*T out of a dead horse we get it! NO MAN wants to be with a nag and it is sure to make us want to be elsewhere then with you or speaking to you.
This one is more of a general tip. Keeping things fresh and new with your appearance is not only a plus but a definite turn on AND it’s not that complicated! Some of you might say “didn’t you just say that men don’t like a lot of make up/like us natural/like us the way we are” This is all true however plastering yourself with TONS of make-up is NOT the same thing as say, changing your hair style. This keeps things fresh, Beauty salons and ghetto women around the world have known since the dawn of time that the same person can look just as sexy but almost completely different depending on the hair style. For the example I have requested the aid of my good friend and Natural Hair Empress Elle.
(Damn I have some sexy friends… where was I? OH YEAH!) I dated a young lady once that was AMAZING at this, we will call her “Myote.” Every couple of weeks she had a new style… it was almost like i was dating a different young lady, and it was nothing CRAZY like purple or neon colored hair it was subtle but very different. This helps quiet those urges inside all men that compel us to hunt. The “new shiny” thing is right there laying next to us… but more on our urges etc in part two.
(oh there’s more coming!)
Want more “Wordz?” of course you do!
Special Thanks AGAIN to Elle for letting me exploit her face AND “Izzy” go check her out in the following places: